I think I've finally decided to give up ttc.
It's not going to happen unless I actively pursue it and doing that the past few years has yielded nothing but disappointment.
And yes, I've thought about adopting, but no, I'm not going to consider it.
I raised two step-children from a young age and that did not fill the hole I feel because I can't conceive one of my own. Not to mention the issues with RAD and missing a good part of their formative years.
I also simply don't have the money for an adoption, IVF, etc...
I've been "deciding" this for a long time and I'm almost to the point of accepting it!
So now I devote all of my time oohing and ahhing over others' successes, while I plan a different kind of future.
I want to come up with a 5-year plan for my life, as daunting as that sounds.
I'm excited to think about getting rid of the routines, useless dreams, and stress over my life not being fulfilled.
I need some new goals that I can reach!
I've got Lady now, and the adoration seems mutual! She is the BEST dog I've ever had. Often, it's like raising a child! That will suffice!
Will post pics of her soon!